Oscar, an aloof cat kept at a US nursing home, regularly predicted patient's deaths by snuggling alongside them in their final hours, a scientist says.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Weird politics of small boobs and bodily fluids
BELLA COUNIHAN
Two political websites crashed on Thursday for two very different reasons. Julia Gillard's baby, the My School website - intended to increase the transparency and school shop-around factor for parents - crashed according to the Deputy Prime Minister because there were so many enthusiastic people "keen to jump on and to have a look at their local school." The other, the Australian Sex Party website, crashed, according to the party's leader, Fiona Patten, when "thousands of people accessed information about the banning of female ejaculation and small-breasted women in adult films and publications by the Australian Classification Board." You couldn't make this stuff up.
The Australian Sex Party (ASP) drew attention to the issue on Wednesday with a press release claiming that the Australian Classification Board is refusing to classify any rudey films featuring women ejaculating. The ASP suggests that the Board is banning these films on the grounds that these are depictions of urination (I'm not kidding) and furthermore that the depiction of female ejaculation is "abhorrent". Male ejaculations, they protest, are still okay, resting in the nice wholesome but restricted category of the X rating.
Outraged Ms Patten says the guiding reason for the Board's tendency to refuse classification in the female orgasm instance was that the Board's members believed the science around female orgasm was dubious. She counter-argued that "female ejaculation has now been described in scientific literature as being as real as male ejaculation and women's ejaculate is as different from urine, as men's is." Patten suggested perhaps some biology lessons for the members were necessary to "bring them up-to-date".
A spokeperson for the Classification Board has told the National Times that all films are classified on a case by case basis. Stating that the Film and Games guidelines "do not specify female ejaculation . . . [but] do specify that the fetish of 'golden showers' will be refused classification. And that in the past "films that feature . . . 'golden showers' have been Refused Classification by the Board." The board also maintains that its Publications Guidelines do not specify breast size.
Now before this all gets too uncomfortable, you begin to squirm in your seat and close your web browser; or alternatively laugh the whole thing off and confirm your ideas about the Sex Party as a fringe organisation beating up an issue for publicity (although there you might have a point), it might be worth noting that the censorship of films with female ejaculation has had some precedent. The British Board of Film Classification has repeatedly got into hot water by censoring films with female ejaculation. The board's members do not believe that female ejaculation is possible and therefore has classified it as urination. The British board cut appropriate segments from films and also refused classification, effectively banning others.
It seems like climate change science and the science around female ejaculation is, as our Opposition Leader Tony Abbott would say, far from settled. Despite most female ejaculation in porn being faked, the real thing is believed to exist. A recent New Scientist article discusses the recent discoveries and theories in depth. Most of the evidence therein points to this being a secretion not unlike male ejaculate and certainly not wee.
It is yet to be seen whether the Australian Classification Board is intending to systematically refuse classification of either female ejaculation or small breasts on the basis descibed by Patten. Or whether this whole thing is indeed a beat up by the Sex Party to draw attention to one of their main causes - classification and censorship.
But, I tell you what, it made some curious reading for a Thursday.
Two political websites crashed on Thursday for two very different reasons. Julia Gillard's baby, the My School website - intended to increase the transparency and school shop-around factor for parents - crashed according to the Deputy Prime Minister because there were so many enthusiastic people "keen to jump on and to have a look at their local school." The other, the Australian Sex Party website, crashed, according to the party's leader, Fiona Patten, when "thousands of people accessed information about the banning of female ejaculation and small-breasted women in adult films and publications by the Australian Classification Board." You couldn't make this stuff up.
The Australian Sex Party (ASP) drew attention to the issue on Wednesday with a press release claiming that the Australian Classification Board is refusing to classify any rudey films featuring women ejaculating. The ASP suggests that the Board is banning these films on the grounds that these are depictions of urination (I'm not kidding) and furthermore that the depiction of female ejaculation is "abhorrent". Male ejaculations, they protest, are still okay, resting in the nice wholesome but restricted category of the X rating.
Outraged Ms Patten says the guiding reason for the Board's tendency to refuse classification in the female orgasm instance was that the Board's members believed the science around female orgasm was dubious. She counter-argued that "female ejaculation has now been described in scientific literature as being as real as male ejaculation and women's ejaculate is as different from urine, as men's is." Patten suggested perhaps some biology lessons for the members were necessary to "bring them up-to-date".
A spokeperson for the Classification Board has told the National Times that all films are classified on a case by case basis. Stating that the Film and Games guidelines "do not specify female ejaculation . . . [but] do specify that the fetish of 'golden showers' will be refused classification. And that in the past "films that feature . . . 'golden showers' have been Refused Classification by the Board." The board also maintains that its Publications Guidelines do not specify breast size.
Now before this all gets too uncomfortable, you begin to squirm in your seat and close your web browser; or alternatively laugh the whole thing off and confirm your ideas about the Sex Party as a fringe organisation beating up an issue for publicity (although there you might have a point), it might be worth noting that the censorship of films with female ejaculation has had some precedent. The British Board of Film Classification has repeatedly got into hot water by censoring films with female ejaculation. The board's members do not believe that female ejaculation is possible and therefore has classified it as urination. The British board cut appropriate segments from films and also refused classification, effectively banning others.
It seems like climate change science and the science around female ejaculation is, as our Opposition Leader Tony Abbott would say, far from settled. Despite most female ejaculation in porn being faked, the real thing is believed to exist. A recent New Scientist article discusses the recent discoveries and theories in depth. Most of the evidence therein points to this being a secretion not unlike male ejaculate and certainly not wee.
It is yet to be seen whether the Australian Classification Board is intending to systematically refuse classification of either female ejaculation or small breasts on the basis descibed by Patten. Or whether this whole thing is indeed a beat up by the Sex Party to draw attention to one of their main causes - classification and censorship.
But, I tell you what, it made some curious reading for a Thursday.
Fielding getting into hotwater over twitter comments
Senator Fielding tweeted "just been using a nice new apple mac inside the detention centre. Not bad at all!" People are pissed off.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Tony Abbott warns women against sex before marriage
Sam Maiden's story on the Women's Weekly interview coming out this Wednesday.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Rewriting the Avatar script, George Bush-style
When I came out of the movies having seen the new blockbuster Avatar by Titanic director James Cameron, the last thing on my mind was politics. Apparently not so for many more who saw the heavily handled themes of nature vs money and power as a liberal lecture. There has been a negative review from the Vatican, from the Christian community, from feminists and in particular from American conservatives who have absolutely slammed the film as being amongst other things "Death Wish 5 for leftists", "the most expensive piece of anti-American propaganda ever made", and "a multi-million dollar ad for global warming." Even our own Miranda Devine has had a shot. This criticism goes much beyond the much repeated "this is just Dances With Wolves with blue people" line and into a world where a planet of blue aliens protecting themselves from Americans is malicious lefty propoganda from Hollywood.
It would be easy to dismiss this as feather fluffing from a political side clawing at anything on its way down and let that be the end of it. But what about taking the brazen over analysis on board? What if we said "yes, this is lefty rubbish" and start again from scratch? We could grab hold of Mr Cameron, all those fancy cameras, another half a billion dollars and spend another 15 years making it again. But this time, in the spirit of political equality in cinema, let's create the critics' version. The George Bush remake of Avatar.
No doubt, we would have to significantly alter the original where a mining company, protected by US marines, gobble up the alien planet Pandora's obviously named resource Unobtanium at the expense of the local Na'vi population. And where one of the marines, Jake Sully (Australia's own Sam Worthington) occupying an artificial Na'vi body, is asked to infiltrate the natives. The earlier line where he learns from them, falls in love with one of them and eventually fights for them is too hippy.
To start we'll need to change some of the main characters. Forget making the US general a slack-jawed cigar smoking Texan who is impatient and quick to invade the alien world of Pandora. Let's make the US presence on this alien planet a hearts and minds mission to help the local Na'vi people. Build some schools, some roads, some hospitals, maybe bring some Western governance? And the rest of the rank and file US marines? Well, they're a bunch of good ol' boys just doing their jobs in the face of ever present danger the best they know how.
What about the much criticised Iraq and Afghan war lingo from the film? No more "shock and awe" and "pre-emptive attacks" yelled out by the brutish General in the original. These would be replaced by words like "freedom", "duty" and "mission accomplished."
But it still just doesn't smell conservative enough. These blue people, the native Na'vi, they need some tweaking don't they? How about instead of them being in tune with nature, intelligent warriors, let's give them a bit of an edge. A bit darker maybe? Let's never let them speak English fluently, only stammering recognisable words between the snarls. A bit cruder. More alien, less human. Vicious and backward with no regard for human life or otherwise and pious to a primitive religion. Blindly territorial and unreasonable. I mean all the Americans want to do is to some minor scale precision mining to help the folks back home drive their cars, what's all the fuss about? There's no dealing with the savage natives in this version.
We also need to change the portrayal of the Na'vi's animist Godess based religion. A christian movie site reviewer was particularly disquieted by the Na'vi's worshiping of a "false goddess". He said "the humans in Avatar are all presented as unbelievers. It’s as if humans have no God while every Na’vi worships Eywa the goddess. The reality of life on earth is that there are millions of Christians who worship a loving and compassionate God." So clearly all this Pagan worship won't do. Maybe when Jake Sully cavorts with the Na'vi, he could spread a little God around? After all a little proselytising never hurt anyone.
We've got the critics' film all wrapped up. Its on the reel. The pop corn is popping, the cinema is empty and waiting. The question is would anybody come to see it?
In the end with a film about nature vs money and power, it would be hard to make the latter look good.
It would be easy to dismiss this as feather fluffing from a political side clawing at anything on its way down and let that be the end of it. But what about taking the brazen over analysis on board? What if we said "yes, this is lefty rubbish" and start again from scratch? We could grab hold of Mr Cameron, all those fancy cameras, another half a billion dollars and spend another 15 years making it again. But this time, in the spirit of political equality in cinema, let's create the critics' version. The George Bush remake of Avatar.
No doubt, we would have to significantly alter the original where a mining company, protected by US marines, gobble up the alien planet Pandora's obviously named resource Unobtanium at the expense of the local Na'vi population. And where one of the marines, Jake Sully (Australia's own Sam Worthington) occupying an artificial Na'vi body, is asked to infiltrate the natives. The earlier line where he learns from them, falls in love with one of them and eventually fights for them is too hippy.
To start we'll need to change some of the main characters. Forget making the US general a slack-jawed cigar smoking Texan who is impatient and quick to invade the alien world of Pandora. Let's make the US presence on this alien planet a hearts and minds mission to help the local Na'vi people. Build some schools, some roads, some hospitals, maybe bring some Western governance? And the rest of the rank and file US marines? Well, they're a bunch of good ol' boys just doing their jobs in the face of ever present danger the best they know how.
What about the much criticised Iraq and Afghan war lingo from the film? No more "shock and awe" and "pre-emptive attacks" yelled out by the brutish General in the original. These would be replaced by words like "freedom", "duty" and "mission accomplished."
But it still just doesn't smell conservative enough. These blue people, the native Na'vi, they need some tweaking don't they? How about instead of them being in tune with nature, intelligent warriors, let's give them a bit of an edge. A bit darker maybe? Let's never let them speak English fluently, only stammering recognisable words between the snarls. A bit cruder. More alien, less human. Vicious and backward with no regard for human life or otherwise and pious to a primitive religion. Blindly territorial and unreasonable. I mean all the Americans want to do is to some minor scale precision mining to help the folks back home drive their cars, what's all the fuss about? There's no dealing with the savage natives in this version.
We also need to change the portrayal of the Na'vi's animist Godess based religion. A christian movie site reviewer was particularly disquieted by the Na'vi's worshiping of a "false goddess". He said "the humans in Avatar are all presented as unbelievers. It’s as if humans have no God while every Na’vi worships Eywa the goddess. The reality of life on earth is that there are millions of Christians who worship a loving and compassionate God." So clearly all this Pagan worship won't do. Maybe when Jake Sully cavorts with the Na'vi, he could spread a little God around? After all a little proselytising never hurt anyone.
We've got the critics' film all wrapped up. Its on the reel. The pop corn is popping, the cinema is empty and waiting. The question is would anybody come to see it?
In the end with a film about nature vs money and power, it would be hard to make the latter look good.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Cringe Town - Rudd and Hip Hop w Prince William
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ouNrhpyPvy4&feature=player_embedded[/youtube]
Monday, January 18, 2010
US Right - "Haiti will play right into Obama's hands"
Rush Limbaugh, staunch conservative and radio host has lowered the bar, saying that the earth quake in Haiti will help Obama "boost his credibility with the black community." And that the US has already donated to Haiti, "its called US income tax." Seriously. We think some of the conservatives here are nuts...
Sunday, January 17, 2010
And Rudd's Cat and Dog lived happily ever after...
Kevin Rudd and former Playschool host Rhys Muldoon launch their new book at the Royal Melbourne Children's Hospital. Aby and Jasper launched to stardom.
FBI stuff ups Bin Laden picture
"Osama Bin Laden alive and well and living in Spain". Little bit of a beat up headline there...
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Woman drives home with dead pensioner wedged in windscreen
You think the other drivers on the road would have noticed?
Monday, January 11, 2010
10 grand a tweet!
Some celebrities are getting paid to tweet. Damn advertising. Isn't even the sanctity of social media safe...
The Supreme Court blacks out the YouTubing of the gay-marriage trial.
A strange development in the Youtubing of court proceedings in the US.
Sen Harry Reid comments on Obama's Race
Some are calling for Sen Harry Reid to resign , after new comments about President Obama came out in a new book about the 2008 election and it's aftermath.
Palin @ Fox8
Sarah Palin's most recent tweet: "What would America do w/out Fox News?I'm so thankful for the opportunity to work w/team committed to fair&balanced reporting.Please join us!" Good grief, fair and balanced, eh? Palin announced her new irregular spot on the network on Monday.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Do you have a twin out there?
Maybe facebook can help you find them. A profile photo app dominated with coke zero advertising has just come out and tries to match your photos with other users to find those that look similar. Nice idea but seems a bit hit and miss.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Burning question of 09
If a siamese twin commits murder, does his twin get punished, too? A pressing and pertinent legal question of our time.
Iran State TV suggests protestors death was faked
Iran State TV suggests protestors death was faked. Apparently it was a conspiracy of western agents and her doctor and music teacher... hmm. Pretty disgusting stuff.
Insiders on the campaign trail
Insiders on the campaign trail say that Palin couldn't help but keep calling Joe Biden, O'Biden (classic). After prep, McCain campaigner thought the debate would be "a debacle of historic and epic proportions."
Green observations...
Greens seem to be going a little wonky at the minute - attacks on Indian students and whale hunting throws them off their game a bit.
Sarah Hanson Young used the phrase "call a spade a spade" in her argument that racism is present in Australia in this article : http://www.abc.net.au/unleashed/stories/s2787261.htm
Which dare I say could be considered poor form on her part seeing the conotations that the word "spade" has.
And then all this whale killing business seems to bring out the paramilitary wing of the usually peace loving greens, who seem to be constantly calling for Australian military boats and much B Brown talk of sending bills for the decimation of the boat Ady Gill to the Japanese Ambassador.
Where have all the peaceful greenies gone? Maybe a bit more grenola and bit less red meat? Or just a bit less racism and a bit more whale conservation and they would go back to the normal daisy behind the ear activities.
Sarah Hanson Young used the phrase "call a spade a spade" in her argument that racism is present in Australia in this article : http://www.abc.net.au/unleashed/stories/s2787261.htm
Which dare I say could be considered poor form on her part seeing the conotations that the word "spade" has.
And then all this whale killing business seems to bring out the paramilitary wing of the usually peace loving greens, who seem to be constantly calling for Australian military boats and much B Brown talk of sending bills for the decimation of the boat Ady Gill to the Japanese Ambassador.
Where have all the peaceful greenies gone? Maybe a bit more grenola and bit less red meat? Or just a bit less racism and a bit more whale conservation and they would go back to the normal daisy behind the ear activities.
Bloggin' Bidness
Well this may well be the first and last of its kind, but I thought I would giving this blogging doo hicky a go. Stay tuned for anything I scrounge together on this great interwebs along with the odd national times goanna.
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