Zombies trump a political apocalypse

When things are going awry, Julia Gillard may well find out that it is better to have a Zombie army than a political apocalypse.

You don't need to be a political expert or insider to have foreseen serious difficulties with the US mid-term elections for the Obama administration; the Tea Party, Fox News's Glenn Beck and a perfect storm of bad political and economic conditions made things none too easy for Democrats. Losing the House and retaining the Senate is almost good news for Democrats, they could have lost both. Unless a miracle bunny is pulled out of a hat, Obama could become a one-term wonder.

The bad mood surrounding the incumbent party and administration is such that in the lead-up to the West Virginia Senate race, Joe Manchin, a National Rifle Association endorsed candidate, ran an ad where he took out his gun and literally shot a copy of the cap and trade bill. Now before you say "there goes another gun-wielding Republican, sledging the Obama administration" it might be worth noting that he ran as a Democrat senator, notionally on Obama's own team and that he won his Senate race, 53 to 44 per cent.

Advertisement: Story continues below Meanwhile, back in Oz, Doug Cameron recently noted a truism of Australian politics, that Labor politicians here have become zombified. Now we're not talking, wondering through a shopping mall feeding on the living, Dawn of the Dead style. But more following, un-questioningly your own party line without reflection.

Cameron, a left faction leader, said serving the government was a "a bit like having a political lobotomy. You can't speak your mind”, adding that discussion behind closed doors just didn't cut it. He argued there should be more open debate, leading to a greater focus on longer term policy and less on spin. Now whether he would have said these things while old boss Kevin was around is another matter, but it's the strongest a Labor pollie has been on the matter publicly. Climate change minister Greg Combet also recently spoke along similar themes, although more circumspectly, saying that Labor had “a responsibility to lead, not follow" and not to be entirely beholden to focus groups.

So there's a couple in the government's ranks feebly trying to fight off the zombification of your MPs, but it could be worse for Gillard. At least no one is taking a gun and shooting down the mining tax or running ads rubbishing key parts of your administration's policy program.

Then what about the Australian voters? Do we prefer party discipline and tight-lipped, unthinking zombie MPs or would we prefer gun-toting, own-goal Joe Manchins? It's a matter of striking a better balance between pragmatic and more idealistic.

Doug Cameron suggested that we should employ the three-line whip idea from the UK, where whips, named because they are meant to keep everyone voting in line with party decisions, will have a ranking system for various votes.

One line vote: who cares which way you go.

Two-line vote: you should probably vote with us, but we're cool.

And three lines: if you even sniff the wrong side of us, you're out.

Until recently in South Africa, members of parliament could actually switch parties, or form new parties and take their seats with them. So if Cameron wanted to support gay marriage, as he's hinted at, then all he would have to do is switch to the Greens and we'd have two Adam Bandts.

In the meantime, some tips for surviving a political Zombie apocalypse:

1. Avoid parliaments/cemeteries.

2. Get into and sabotage focus groups.

3. Organise supplies before they come (might be too late as we've already voted them in).

4. The only way to stop them is to remove the head of the party, or destroy the brains of the voters.

5. Remember they're no longer who they were before they entered politics.

Bella Counihan works in the Canberra press gallery and writes for the National Times.